I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done without my Asian and immigrant friendships. Without them, a shy insecure black girl would’ve never made any friends in school.

Growing up close friends from China and the Philippines formed a huge part of my identity. Patricia, Jaynie, Jiaming…* They extended their friendship freely to me like a gift, brushing past the racial tensions that often intimidated most of my white and monocultural peers.

For most, I was a stuck-up, angry black girl who stayed to myself because I thought myself to be better than others. They struggled to see the shy, insecure black girl who could never stop saying “sorry”, who felt like both a loser and a burden to other people.

Today, I choose to remember these friendships and the gift they gave me of being seen and heard as human. Of being deserving of dignity and respect. Of feeling safe in my own skin, in my own country. Today, I choose to remember that my Asian-American and immigrant communities are worthy of these things, too.

My Asian-American community deserves to feel safe.

My Asian-American community deserves to be seen and heard.

My Asian-American community is worthy of dignity and respect.

My Asian-American community deserves to feel at home in their own skin, in their own country.

*It’s jia-ming not jow-ming with a soft ‘j’ and a light ‘a’